When desire changes or disappears
People often arrive worried that something is wrong with them. Others feel guilty because a partner wants more sex, or frightened that a relationship will not survive the difference. These fears can turn intimacy into a test, making genuine desire even harder to access.
Diana helps individuals and couples look at the full picture. The work is not about forcing libido or meeting a quota. It is about understanding the conditions that support desire, reducing pressure, and building a sexual connection that feels honest and sustainable.
Common reasons people seek help
- Mismatched desire between partners
- Loss of interest after stress, illness, pregnancy, or menopause
- Sex that feels obligatory or pressured
- Difficulty accessing arousal or erotic energy
- Shame, resentment, or avoidance around intimacy
- Desire changes connected to medication or mood
Desire is responsive to context
Desire does not always arrive spontaneously. For many people it emerges only after safety, warmth, stimulation, and emotional connection are present. Therapy can help identify what turns desire off, what allows it to awaken, and how partners can stop repeating a pursue-withdraw cycle.
When medical or hormonal factors may be involved, therapy can complement appropriate medical care while addressing the emotional and relational impact.
Experienced, specialized care
Diana Urman, PhD, LCSW, has more than 20 years of clinical experience and advanced training in human sexuality. Her style is warm, direct, and practical. She works with individuals and couples from her Noe Valley office and by telehealth across California.
Related services
Frequently asked questions
Is low desire normal?
Yes. Desire naturally changes across life and relationships. Therapy is useful when the change causes distress, conflict, or a loss of connection.
Can therapy help when partners want very different amounts of sex?
Yes. Desire discrepancy is common. Therapy helps both partners understand the pattern, communicate without blame, and create workable forms of intimacy.
What if hormones or medication are involved?
Therapy does not replace medical assessment. It can work alongside medical care and address the relationship, emotional, and body-based parts of the experience.